I’ve been a good girl. You are beautiful. Spank me, master. I love your moans. Dirty talk anyone? Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it. But there is something universally human about hearing something that makes us feel good about ourselves. Perhaps it’s receiving a compliment that makes us warm and fuzzy or something a little more naughty that immediately turns us on and begging for more. Whatever it is, this is the realm of dirty talk phrases.

Why should I become a pro at using dirty talk phrases?

When it comes to sex, it’s not only our bodies doing the talking, it’s also what we actually say. Hearing certain words can be a total turn-on. (And in the same breath, a complete turn-off too.) That’s why when we delve into the world of dirty talk, we have to know what phrases our partner/s will enjoy, the ones they won’t, and where their boundaries begin and end.

Dirty talk phrases can spice up a relationship, whether it’s a committed relationship or purely physical. Kinky talk has the potential to arouse, build anticipation, and strengthen intimacy and connection.

But… Not everyone is going to like talking dirty or being spoken to in a kinky way. And that’s okay. Everyone has their preferences and turn-ons. As long as it’s consensual and everyone fosters a safe and comfortable environment, then go for it. So, Loveangels shares the benefits of integrating dirty talk phrases within your relationship, and how to become a pro at it.

Better communication

Do you find openly talking about sex awkward or uncomfortable? Don’t worry, some of us feel the same. If verbalising your needs and desires with your sexual partner proves to be a difficult conversation to have, then exploring the realm of dirty talk may be the comfortable space you need.

Talking dirty can create a safe, sensual environment to explore fantasies, kinks, and sexual desires verbally. Yes, talking dirty can increase anticipation and arousal, but it’s not only about the specific words used. It’s about the act of engaging in kinky words.

This explicit dialogue may encourage partners to articulate their desires, improving open and honest communication and intimacy. Maybe you want to add some sex toys to the mix, explore BDSM or have lingerie preferences. And when we can communicate our sexual needs and desires, and listen to our partners, we build and strengthen our emotional connection.

Self-confidence anyone?

For many of us, verbal affirmation can boost positive self-esteem and confidence when it comes to our sexuality and bodies and exploring sensual spaces with our partner/s.

The lingerie you wore today drove me CRAZY!

I can’t get last night off my mind.

You have the best bum in the world.

That new thing you tried?.... More, please!

Hearing any of these may feel good, right? Showing appreciation through verbal affirmations and compliments can make your partner feel good about themselves. As long as the compliments are sincere and not forced! Cultivating a dialogue between you and your partner about what you each enjoy about one another – in the bedroom, physically, sexually, or in any other way – creates a positive feedback loop.

What is this positive feedback loop we speak of? One person affirms that their partner turns them on, the other mentions how much they enjoyed a sexual act, and so the compliments and affirmations go back and forth. This acts as a confirmation – a big YES! – for each partner, which nurtures a sense of confidence, emotional and sexual security, and a safe space to sexually express themselves within the relationship.

Adding some kinkiness to the bedroom

Harder. Bite me. You’re dripping wet. I want you inside of me. Take off your clothes. I love the way your breasts/cock feel/s in my mouth.

Into porn? Try watching without any sound on. It’s not the same, is it? (Or maybe you like it without sound; that’s okay, no one is here to judge.) Every sense is involved during sex, and sound plays a part in this sensual stimulation. 

And verbalising your enjoyment at the moment can make it all very exciting for everyone involved! There may be some shame or embarrassment around talking dirty, so always make sure that your partner/s is comfortable with hearing dirty talk phrases. (You don’t want to turn them off or make them feel uncomfortable! Remember: dirty talk is not for everyone.)

If you are into dirty talk, it’s a great way to share what feels good in the present moment. This openness within using erotic language can offer a safe space to communicate fantasies, ignite passion, and result in a more adventurous and satisfying sex life together.

Becoming a pro at dirty talk phrases

Now that we know about the benefits of talking dirty, here’s the know-how for incorporating it into your relationship/s and becoming a pro!

Start slowly

Rule number one for all things sex: ask for consent. Not everyone enjoys dirty talk, so make sure that your partner is into it. And even if they’re not into dirty talk phrases, they may still enjoy compliments. Let them know of their beauty and how they make you feel. This type of loving and affirming language could still boost their confidence and make them feel worthy.

In this way, there is a spectrum to dirty talk, and easing into it if you haven’t integrated it within your pleasure chest is key. Start by using phrases such as:

Wow! You look absolutely stunning in that dress.

The way you smile drives me nuts.

I love the way you tighten your legs around me during sex, it makes me feel good.

See how they react. Does their verbal or body language affirm that they enjoy such phrases? Don’t see any clues or are unsure, ask them for confirmation: “Do you enjoy it when I say things like this?”

Adventurous exploration

Maybe you’re both into dirty talk but still feel too shy to initiate it. This is the time to explore without any pressure or seriousness! Once you’ve pre-determined that you may enjoy integrating more raunchy or naughty language within your sexual relationship, you can try a kinky little activity.

Sit somewhere comfortable with your partner at a time that suits you best when you’re both relaxed and take turns whispering a dirty talk phrase in one another’s ear. This is the perfect time to test the boundaries and preferences of what each person enjoys when it comes to dirty talk phrases. Be honest about how it made you feel. Whether you liked it, or it did nothing, what grossed you out, and everything in between.

Build sexual tension

Flirt, whisper, entice, and seduce with words. Words are just words, but when we string them together in a sentence, we have the potential to create magic. Sensual, steamy, magic. You can seduce them with a simple phrase:

I respect you, so I have to admit that your cleavage is distracting tonight.

Entice:

I’m not wearing any panties.

Or build anticipation:

I can’t wait to get home and rip your clothes off.

Pay attention to your partner’s turn-ons, preferences, desires, and fantasies. Incorporate these within your erotic language. Explore this with your partner before sex or via a text to build anticipation, increase arousal during sex, or affirm after sex what you enjoyed.

Honesty and zero judgement

Okay, honesty time. Are you into dirty talk but your partner isn’t? That’s 100% okay, and you shouldn’t resent, judge or force anyone into doing anything they don’t want to explore. The reality is that we can’t satisfy every single one of our sexual fantasies or desires, and we have to make peace with this. Co-creating a safe and consensual sexual environment with our partners is what nurtures a respectful and compassionate relationship for everyone involved.

If you are both open to dirty talk, and someone says something that is a turn-off, refrain from anger or judgement (they most likely didn’t intend to cause upset or discomfort). Respectfully communicate that you didn’t enjoy it – with or without an explanation – and compassionately ask that they don’t use that type of language in the future.

And if they ask the same of you, don’t become enraged or judgemental – we have to respect everyone’s boundaries. 

Final Thoughts

Dirty talk phrases have the opportunity to improve open communication, boost confidence, and add some excitement to the bedroom within our relationships. This form of erotic language can also provide a space to explore our desires, preferences, and fantasies for a more adventurous and satisfying sex life. So, are you ready to give it a go, become a pro, or leave it cause it’s not for you?