Who knew kinky turn-ons could happen outside of the bedroom? Even when you’re miles apart. We’re talking about sexting. Those text threads that are way too raunchy to lock your phone on without exiting the chat first. Not reserved for any specific kink or sexual preference, sexting is a one-size-fits-all approach to getting it on (if you know what we mean).

Loveangels’ guide to the hottest sexting

It invokes imagination and our naughty sides, and has the potential to spark intimacy and open conversations about sex with our partners. Yup, sexting is for everyone because it can be individualised to push the right buttons of what makes us tick.

What is sexting?

In a nutshell, sexting is sharing any sexual digital material. Messages, photos, memes, gifs, voicenotes, videos or even a phone call. All of these fall within the sexy little realm of sexting.

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, living together, friends with benefits, sexual partners, married, or something in between, sexting is not barred for any type of relationship.

And of course, it’s always consensual. (No one wants an unsolicited nude appearing on their work email while pitching a proposal to some hot shots.)

Yes, sometimes a slightly spicy message is sent to test the waters. But please avoid the risqué texts from the get-go (unless you’re both verbally into that).

And just to vouch for the promising flirtation of sexting, sex experts say that it can open conversations about sexual fantasies in a no-pressure kind of way. While increasing sexual intimacy, building and releasing sexual tension, and having some fun.

How to reply to a sext

You make up the rules for what works for you and your partner. If you’re into it, the best response would be to simply ease into the conversation acknowledging what you’re partner sent. Or maybe you like jumping straight into it, then reply according to this.

If you’re not really into it, or it’s bad timing. Be honest, it’s the best policy for all things sexual. Kindly respond with “In a meeting.” / “Need to catch this deadline. Pause and play later?” / “Had a rough day. Cuddles and movie?”

And remember, practice makes perfect! If you’re new to the sexting scene, take it as it comes. The more you engage, the more you’ll learn what works.

How to sext in a fun (and consensual way)

Most of us would agree that we’ve fooled around with some sexting, right? And some of us may even be first-hand sexting experts. Well, either way, Loveangels shares some top tips to make that sexting, sexy, baby! 

Ease into it, slowly

Like foreplay, initiating a sexting experience requires a steady, slow escalation. Building sexual tension, arousing the imagination, and creating anticipation are the key ingredients that makes it so electrifying.

Start with a small taster. Ask them what they’re wearing, or tell them you wish you were there. Maybe tease a little. Send a hint before they travel home like “I can’t get you off my mind. Especially what we did the last time I saw you… *insert winky face*”. And then send a sensual selfie later on when they get home.

Let it flow. Don’t force into it. If your partner reciprocates, then continue and let it naturally build between the two of you.

Get to know what your partner likes

What names does your sexual partner like to be called? Or what do they call you? Do they like specific kinky words that get them in the mood? Maybe they like to be called a “naughty girl” or “big daddy”. Use these in the texts.

Do they like toys or have specific kinks? Describe these using details to paint a sensual picture.

Perhaps there is something they’ve wanted to try out, but you haven’t had the chance in IRL (in real life). Or you’re uncomfortable with it in person, but texting about it is alright. Pleasantly surprise them with descriptive details of where you are, what and how you’re going to do it. 

If something kills the mood for you, refrain from judging them. No kink shaming here. Just guide the topic away from that with something you both enjoy. And if it’s something disrespectful, wait until you’re both in the same room to bring it up in a nonaggressive way.

Share what you like

It’s a give-and-take kind of situation. Focus on what they enjoy, and introduce some of what you prefer.

You’re into something but a bit too shy to talk about it face-to-face? Sexting is the perfect space to plant the seed and explore whether your partner is into it or not.

Sexting can also provide an avenue for you and your partner to explore new sexual positions, kinks, settings, toys or anything else, really.

Keep in mind: don’t get angry or standoffish if they’re not into it. Sex takes two (or more) to tango. It should always be a safe and comfortable sensual realm for everyone involved.

Establish boundaries

And this is where we move into consent and boundaries for all sexual partners. Before engaging in sexting, there has to be a clear indication that both partners want to do it.

You could have a conversation about it beforehand. Ask them when both of you are relaxed and comfortable: “Hey, what do you think of sexting?” / “Have you ever thought about trying sexting?” This safely opens up the conversation to see if everyone consents.

Or you could send a cheeky text or selfie to see how they react. If they get the hint and are into it, they’ll match your energy. But don’t start too strongly. Flirty texts are best when introducing the idea of sexting. 

Opening up a line of communication is crucial. Do you delete all videos and photos, and chat afterwards? These are important factors to consider with your fellow sexter.

And under no circumstances should you share any texts, videos or images with others unless clearly stated otherwise by your partner. Let’s not ruin anyone’s reputation or betray someone’s trust.

All things sexting need to be consensual and safe. Establish a safe word that both you and your sexting partner can use for a comfortable time out.

Have fun and don’t be too serious

Sexting can be intoxicating, exhilarating and ultra steamy. Focus on this! If something a bit out of the ordinary is said, or autocorrect includes a “flight” instead of a “clit”, laugh it off. It’s not supposed to be serious, only enjoyable.

Get sexting, Loveangelers

Whether you’re a master sexter or a new adventurer within the land of sexting, easing into it, and keeping it consensual and sexy is the way to go. Explore new sexual realms, include some nudes (or not) and don’t be afraid of emojis and using sultry language. 

P.S. Watch out for those pesky autocorrections, friends!