Feeling concerned about how much action you’ve been getting? You’re not alone. But even though you may not be too ecstatic by how much sexy time you and your partner are having, there are many factors at play. And you may be surprised that what you’re getting is pretty much ‘normal’ within the spectrum of couples having sex.

The spectrum of couples having sex 

When it comes to how much sex you have as a couple, there is no right or wrong answer. Despite pop culture making it seem like couples have loads of sex with mind-bending multiple orgasms, this may not be the reality for some. Or your friend in a new-ish relationship shares on your coffee date that she’s getting her Vitamin D on the daily (wink, wink).

The key thing to remember here: Don’t compare your sexual journey to anyone else. It all depends on your and your partner’s lifestyles, preferences and libido. How long have you been together? Do you have young children? Are you more raunchy during different times of the day or the month? Are you stressed at work? All of these, as well as hormones, work, and other responsibilities affect how much each couple enjoys sex.

So, Loveangels is here to help you put your unique sexual experience in context for a healthier and happier sex life.

Couples having sex almost every day

Are you in a new relationship where you can’t keep your hands off one another? This happens at the beginning of most relationships. It’s physical, intimate and a completely new experience. Sparks are flying, and you’re still getting to know one another. The experience of someone new sexually is exhilarating. The feel-good hormones of falling in love and the novelty of the sex contribute to getting turned on and doing the deed almost daily.

Besides the heaps of sex at the start of a relationship, there are long-term couples who openly and willingly get to keep the spark and passion going. But it doesn’t mean sex is guaranteed 5 or 7 times a week.

Couples having sex once or twice a week

Although this sense of newness often dissipates as the relationship reaches a year or more, there are many factors at play when it comes to getting turned on. Fluctuations in hormones, stress levels, how much sleep you’re getting, life changes, having young children, and responsibilities are all factors within your sensual play. Perhaps couples are only able to have sex on the weekends or a free night during the week, which is completely okay.

That’s why focusing on your well-being – eating well, getting enough rest, exercising, and self-care – is an essential component of having a wonderful and satisfying sex life. And communicating honestly and non-judgementally with your sexual partner about your preferences and needs can keep you sexually satisfied.

Couples having sex once in a blue moon

Some couples only have sex once or twice a month. Maybe you have a newborn and not getting enough sleep or you or your partner travel a lot for work. Besides lifestyles getting in the way of having regular sex, relationship problems can also impact one’s sex life. Perhaps there’s another aspect of your relationship that’s making you unhappy, like not helping more around the house or not receiving and giving romantic gestures.

If this is the case, investigating how you and your partner can build a more satisfying relationship for both of you may help spice things up in the bedroom.

How to keep the passionate sparks flying as a couple

Whether you’re getting it daily, weekly, monthly or somewhere in between, there is no rulebook when it comes to how much sex you’re having as a couple. That’s why it’s important to not compare yourself to other couples.

Opening up a safe conversation between you and your partner to check in to see how much sex each of you would like could be the first step to fulfilling one another’s sexual needs and desires.

Feeling turned on but not getting enough time to do so?

Have you heard of scheduled sex? It may not sound so glamorous since spontaneity is one aspect that truly gets the sensual juices flowing. But it can also be a sexy addition to your relationship. The anticipation and the build-up of sexual tension can spice up a couple’s sex life.

No, it doesn’t mean scheduling “Sex” on each other’s calendars on a specific day and time. It means communicating when each person feels their best to truly enjoy sex and investing time and effort into making it happen. Perhaps you only have time over the weekend, so setting up a romantic date or shower sex could be the way to go.

Finding ‘newness’ in a long-term relationship

Long-term couples often find that they’re can continue building on the passion long after the newness of a relationship wears off. Mainly, it’s because of their level of sexual comfortability. They know each other’s turn-ons (and offs). They continue to invest in their sexual journey and are open to exploring new kinks, additions, and experiences.

If you want to spice things up, it may be time to have some fun with sex toys, new positions, or try a kink you’ve been curious about.

Final thoughts

Wherever you find yourself within the spectrum of how much sex you’re getting in your long-term relationship, the quality of sex is more important than the quantity. The most important aspect of a healthy and satisfying sex life is keeping it real by having open conversations with your partner/s about your preferences and needs. And sometimes, all it takes is some sexual exploration to truly get those sparks flying!