In the world of BDSM, perhaps no topic is as controversial as consensual non-consent, or CNC for short.
Despite this, however, studies have found that the CNC kink is incredibly popular.
There are a number of reasons for this, and the Loveangels team is here to break down the ins-and-outs of forcible ins-and-outs.
The Loveangels Guide To The CNC Kink
The first thing on many people’s minds when it comes to looking at the CNC kink is whether or not it’s safe, or even ethical.
In short: yes.
If done right, CNC can be a great way for you and your partner to experience a new angle on sex, and many survivors of sexual trauma have found it to be a liberating experience, especially when paired with aftercare.
As far as fantasies go, the CNC kink is definitely on the extreme side.
The name itself may seem contradictory - but it’s not.
The key to all kinks is consent - something which is doubly important for CNC.
What Is Consensual Non-Consent?
CNC is a form of roleplay in which two or more people engage in some form of forced activity is emulated. This can be sexual, or non-sexual.
CNC is a broad term, and can cover a wide range of aspects within the BDSM practice.
CNC involves the dominant “forcing” or coercing the submissive into doing something.
However, one of the most common confusions is that of CNC and rape play.
CNC Vs. Rape Play
While it’s technically a part of CNC, rape play is more specific in that it follows a basis for a specific scene or scenario.
On the other hand, CNC can extend beyond just the bedroom.
CNC can branch into several subcategories.
- Rape Fantasies
Where a person is forced to have sex against their will.
Sexual acts while the person is asleep.
In this scenario, a person is abducted and held against their will.
Where a person is blackmailed into doing something.
Here, a person is sold into sexual slavery.
Where a person is hypnotised and made to perform sexual acts.
- 24/7 / TPE (Total Power Exchange)
Where the submissive consents to permanently handing control of almost every aspect of their life to the dominant.
What Does CNC Look Like In Bed?
The most common form of CNC is usually a situation you may have heard of, or even tried yourself.
Blindfolds and restraints, forced sex, bondage, flogging, forced orgasms, edging, and orgasm denial are all forms of the CNC kink.
The situation can be as simple as holding down your partner a little bit more aggressively than usual, or your partner weakly struggling.
More extreme instances, however, can be as intricate as a staged break-in with a ski-mask, fake weapons, and more - which leads to kidnapping and being taken to a hotel or the forest.
NB: In these instances, remember that, while your partner may have consented, the public hasn’t. They may try to call the police or interrupt you if you go out into public.
Why Is The CNC Kink So Common?
There’s a lot of debate as to why exactly the CNC kink is as common as it is.
Experts have compiled a list of reasons why somebody might be interested in CNC.
This list includes:
Some people want to look further into the submissive (or even masochistic) space of BDSM.
The Desire To Be Desired
For some people, the idea of your partner wanting you so badly that they can’t control themselves is a massive turn-on.
Some people simply want to explore the intensity of the situation.
The Taboo Aspect
For others, it’s a case of wanting to experience something which is considered “taboo”.
The Forbidden Nature Of CNC Fantasies
In most societies, people (especially women and the LGBTQ+ community) are chastised for exploring sexual fantasies.
CNC can therefore be a way for people to overcome sexual guilt by restricting sexual stigmas that are forced upon them.
A Dynamic Swap
People in positions of power in real life often enjoy being the “prey” in dom/sub situations.
Exploring A CNC Scene
Unlike other forms of roleplay, it’s important to make sure that a CNC scene is as comprehensive as possible.
It’s vital that you make sure you’ve got a safe word you or your partner can use if you change your mind, or need a break.
Phrases like Red (stop), Yellow (slow down), and Green (go) are often used to control the pace of a CNC scenario.
If you’re exploring it for the first time, we highly advise that you start slow, making sure to check in with your partner regularly to ensure they’re okay through safe words, or non-verbal cues.
There’s a difference between a rollercoaster and a high-speed chase!
How Important Is Aftercare In The Case Of The CNC Kink?
While the importance of aftercare can’t be emphasised enough in general, CNC is one kink which requires aftercare because of its intensity physically and psychologically.
Gentle physical touch, words of reassurance, and sharing moments are a great way to bring you and your partner back to reality.
And, if all else fails, you can never go wrong with cuddling.
Bringing Up CNC With Your Partner
While CNC can bring excitement and novelty to your relationship, the cornerstone of the CNC kink is trust, communication, and mutual respect.
We suggest starting with some more vanilla scenarios, and discussing others as time goes on.
At the end of the day, it’s important to understand that the CNC kink stems from a desire to experience heightened sensations by either relinquishing or enforcing control.
As with all kinks, CNC offers the opportunity to explore new avenues of your relationship with your partner.
And, as long as you enjoy it (and remain safe), we say roleplay away!