polyamorous relationships in bed

How Do Polyamorous Relationships Work In The Bedroom?

While it might still be mainstream, monogamy isn’t the only type of relationship in the 21st century.
One of the most spoken about (but often misunderstood) types of relationship is polyamory.
But what are polyamorous relationships?
And how does it work in the bedroom?

Polyamorous Relationships & The Bedroom

What Is A Polyamorous Relationship?

Polyamorous relationships (also known as poly relationships) involve entering into one or more romantic or sexual relationships.
All of this is completely consensual, and everybody involved is aware of what’s happening with their partner(s).
Polyamorous relationships are generally split into two categories.

Hierarchical Polyamory

People in these relationships have one primary relationship, and multiple secondary relationships.
For example, their primary relationship could be a marriage, and their secondary relationships are casual partners they’re dating.

Anarchical Polyamory

This kind of polyamory isn’t as structured.
There’s no obligation to have a primary or secondary partner, and everybody is free to explore any kind of relationship with any person.

How Does Polyamory Work?

Like all relationships, poly relationships require dedication and hard work.
However, aspects like communication, listening, and being present are more important, since poly relationships can lead to jealousy and insecurity for some partners.
There are several reasons why people choose to enter into poly relationships.


Some people may feel that there’s a sexual or romantic aspect of themselves that they can’t explore with their partner.
However, that doesn’t mean they want to leave their partner.
For instance, some people may wonder what it’s like to be in a same-sex relationship, but don’t want to leave their hetero partner.


Some people may want to be in a relationship, while also not wanting to feel tied down.
In those cases, being able to explore other relatoinships can help them achieve both of these desires.

Making Things Work

Some people may desperately want to be in a relationship with their partners, but could be hitting relationship roadblocks.
In these instances, a poly relationship could give them an opportunity to work through these things with other people, or to find a mutual middle ground in somebody else.

So, How Do Poly Relationships Work In The Bedroom?

A poly relationship doesn’t necessarily mean threesomes or multiple people in the bedroom at one time.

While this is sometimes the case (especially when multiple people are in a consensual relationship with each other), it’s not that common.
Poly relationships can be prone to a lot of politics.
Some partners may not like one another, and others may only be committed to a single person.
In those cases, the most common thing that happens is that polyamorous partners dedicate specific times, days, and even weeks to one partner.
During that time, they only see one person, and make sure that the time they spend together is quality time.
That extends to every other aspect of the relationship - including the bedroom.
For those partners who enjoy one-on-one time, some nice lighting, music, and anything else that sets the mood is all that’s needed.
Those who enjoy more than one partner in the bedroom at a time have to discuss how focus is shared, and make sure to check in regularly so that nobody feels excluded.
Sometimes, partners do share kinks, and this can be a good way to include multiple partners in for a scene.
If there are multiple people involved, it does sometimes provide opportunities for partners to try things they haven’t before, such as using sex toys, or exploring a kink they’ve been interested in.


Poly relationships offer many people the opportunity to explore multiple sexual or romantic relationships with multiple consenting partners.
This doesn’t necessarily change in the bedroom, but it doesn’t necessarily stay the same.
Despite the confusion and mystery around it, polyamorous relationships can vary from multiple partners to one-on-one quality time.
The main thing is that, unlike a casual scene with multiple people, these relationships continue. While it can make relationships more complicated, it can definitely create strong bonds with multiple people, and allow them to explore sexual experiences they may not have been able to before.